Give emotions their due diligence

Society has a great influence on many of our daily routines. Small subliminal thoughts enter into our conversations consciously or subconsciously throughout a day. During Cooler talk at the office, Mommy & Me play dates or even the adult gossip wheel churning when we are amongst friends, we share thoughts. We talk about our kids, the newest recipe of the week or the game ending score. Some brave folks touch on the "big" topics such as politics, religion and the disciplining of 'our' children. The one thing not openly discussed is emotion and how emotion plays a part into our daily lives.

Statements such as "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and wipe those tears off your face" or "stop your whining or I'll give you something to cry about." Some people believe this is toughening. It is not. It is fear- based conditioning.

Successful corporate ladder climbers, eager business owners & athletes in particular at one time or another have dropped the tears. The ladder climber didn't get the promotion they wanted; the business owner has been awaiting customers, and the athlete loses the race or game was lost. We have all felt a sense over dramatization with a full plate of ruminating on 'the moment' that changed the play or moment. This is a chance for a redo, for next time.

They've begun to practice failure so they may learn to be successful.

Emotions have their place in sports as much as the actions of the athletes. The best coaches lead with "you will lose & you will get right back up and try again". Coaches know the formula for both encouragements as well physical demands. A Coach knows how to fuel failure, light it up and get better results. A Coach is not a stoic idol standing by. They are with you every step of the way. They help you to accept failure but use it as your kryptonite. Let it pull you forward rather than hold you back.

So, when we speak about mindset and toughness, we can include emotion. It hurts when we lose as we put so much into winning. We feel a small sense of shame, perhaps we could've worked a bit harder. Did we let others down by deflating their joy, hope & winner take all mentality? None of this may be true, but it's what we have to flush out to get up and perform again. Some people never do get over the loss. Some people talk it out and others train harder. But they all feel something whether it be utter jubilation or the aching of defeat. To quell the emotion is to deny a part of the training.

You hear stories of a person lifting a whole car of a child or an adult in need. A man who can swim against the strongest of wild water to get to a person who will surely drown. Or a mom all alone at home during a stormy night and goes into labor and delivers her baby on her own. These are the examples of toughness that are extraordinary feats. Some call them divine interventions. Or is it the emotion of fear and loss that drives the mindset which drives toughness? Or is it the other way around. I say it all matters and all parts are equally important to accomplishing a task put before us. Or is it simply being able to control the emotions we feel naturally as human being to get the job done. It feels like a chicken and egg theory, but it doesn't need to be.

Suppressing emotions can often stifle a performance. It is said, the body follows the mind. So, if we untangle the negative thought pattern & use constructive methods to convert them into fuel, your more able to once again set your mindset on your end goal. Including emotional intelligence with physical adaptation with a strong desire to accomplish tasks is toughness. Toughness is found in the surety of mother on the brink any given day through over exertion or the boss on which they entire company's future rest on his shoulders & it's found in the spirit of an athlete going the extra mile to accomplish greatness.

Here are 3 examples of an athlete overcoming mental stress, emotion, depression to go on learn how to control it and win!

Winston Churchill once stated: "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."